On Discretion
On the things we declined
There is a particular request we turn down more often than any other. It is not extravagant. It is rarely difficult. It asks only that we be seen doing the work. We decline it every time.
A house is defined as much by what it refuses as by what it delivers. To be visible at the moment of service is to make the occasion about the house rather than the person it was built for. The finest evening is the one in which we are never once noticed, and yet nothing is ever wanting.
